Yusuke's Oatmeal
by Blurple
Summary: Yusuke really wants oatmeal!


Disclaimer: YYH Not mine.  
  
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Yusuke's Oatmeal  
  
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One day Yusuke was walking down the street with Keiko on his arm.  
  
Yusuke: Man, I sure could go for some oatmeal...  
  
Keiko: Oatmeal?  
  
Yusuke: Chyaaa!   
  
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Kurama was sitting pretty in class, when Yusuke suddenly appeared in the window beside him.  
  
Kurama: Eeeeep!  
  
Yusuke tapped on the window, looking famished.  
  
Yusuke: ::In old man whisper;: Im hungry for oatmeal Kurama!  
  
Kurama asked to be excused from class and walked to the side of the school where Yusuke was.  
  
Kurama: Like, what the hell are you doing here Yusuke? Im trying to like, listen to my teacher's lecture!  
  
Yusuke: I need oatmeal...and I know only YOU have the power to make a good batch!  
  
Kurama: As if! That's an American food. I cant make it. Besides dont you have Keiko to make you some food?  
  
Yusuke: She couldn't boil water.  
  
Kurama: But what abou-  
  
Yusuke: Come on Kuramaaaa! Come on! Come on! Just do it!  
  
Kurama: Like, whoah! Prom night flash-back!  
  
Hiei suddenly fell from a tree nearby, on his rear.  
  
Kurama: Oh my goodness! ::runs over:: Hiei are you okay? ::helps him up::  
  
Yusuke: What are you doing here Hiei?  
  
Kurama: Oh, he always watches over me from this tree, and I pretend not to notice.  
  
Hiei: Chya right! I was not! I happened to stumble on my way-over to the temple.  
  
Kurama: Ok Hiei, I believe you. ::winks at Yusuke::  
  
Hiei: STOP WINKING! Its not cute, its gross.  
  
Kurama: ::eyes get all watery:: its-not cute? ::sniff sniff::  
  
Hiei: No! Its not cute! And neither are you!  
  
Kurama: Waaaaaah! ::runs off to cry in the little girls room::  
  
Yusuke: Dang Hiei, you sure are mean!  
  
Hiei: Nah, really? ::goes to hide in another tree::  
  
Yusuke: What a jerk. ::lights up:: Hey maybe I can take advantage of Kurama's vulnerability and have him make me some oatmeal...thats all I really want. ::stares at the camera:: Oatmeal.  
  
Yusuke walked over to the bathroom and knocked on a stall door.  
  
Kurama:::sniffing:: Go away Yusuke! Im busy in here!  
  
Yusuke: With lady business?  
  
Kurama: eew, HELL NO!   
  
Yusuke: So are you gonna make that oatmeal?   
  
Kurama: ::blowing his nose:: as if. I only cook for Hiei. But he's such a meanie, I dont think I'll ever cook again!  
  
Yusuke:::thinking:: Hey maybe you could cook me some, to make Hiei jealous!   
  
Suddenly Kurama burst out of the stall knocking Yusuke clear across the bathroom.  
  
Kurama: That is the best idea you have ever come up with in your whole entire, delinquent, loser, sex obsessed, meathead, small weenied-  
  
Yusuke: -_- o...K!  
  
Kurama: -life!  
  
Yusuke: Lets just go already!   
  
Kurama: But I can't skip school!   
  
Yusuke: Why not?  
  
Kurama: I'll miss my aerobics class!  
  
Yusuke: Oy! Fine I'll see ya after school. ::walks off all sad::  
  
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Kuwabara was skipping school again, and going to an ice cream shop. Suddenly Yusuke walked up to him and slapped him on the back.  
  
Kuwabara: Ouch! What was that for?   
  
Yusuke: Hey there, my friend, ol' buddy ol' pal!  
  
Kuwabara: uh..hey.  
  
Yusuke: I need a favor.  
  
Kuwabara: Ok. What is it?  
  
Yusuke: Can your sister cook oatmeal?  
  
Kuwabara: My family would die before touching Western food! ::Japanese flag waves gloriously behind him::  
  
Yusuke: Then why are you eating ice cream?  
  
Kuwabara: Um...::drops the ice cream in the trash:: Damn those westerners! Plaguing my mind! ::curls up in a fetal position::  
  
Yusuke: Forget you!  
  
Yusuke walks off  
  
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By this time Yusuke was desperate. He walked all the way to Genkai's temple.  
  
Yusuke: ::crawling on the floor:: Baasan, baasan. I need...I need...  
  
Genkai: ::worriedly:: What is it child?   
  
Yusuke: closer...  
  
Genkai moves closer.  
  
Yusuke: closer...  
  
Genkai moves a little more closer.  
  
Yusuke: CLOSER!...I need some...  
  
Genkai: yes yes...what is it?  
  
Yusuke: oatmeal...  
  
Genkai: oatmeal?  
  
Yusuke: oatmeal.  
  
Genkai kicks Yusuke down the stairs. Yusuke rolls all the way down the temple stairs, hitting the bottom with a thud.  
  
Botan: Hello Yusuke!  
  
Yusuke: Botan! ::gets up:: Do YOU know, how to make oatmeal?   
  
Botan: Whats oatmeal?  
  
Yusuke kills Botan.  
  
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Kurama finished his aerobics class, and walked out of the school, fully clad in Lycra attire and a pink headband.  
  
Kurama: Wow! I feel like so hungry after that aerobics class!  
  
Yusuke: I need...::falls on Kurama::  
  
Kurama: Eew! Yusuke get off of me!  
  
Hiei suddenly pops out of a tree, sword in his hand.  
  
Hiei: You! We'll see how you like my kitana in your gut!!!!  
  
Kurama: No Hiei! Im like, right under him. You have to, like, push him off and THEN stab him!  
  
Yusuke: Oatmeal! ::Yusuke deflects Hiei's attack and gets up:: I NEED OATMEAL! ::grabs Kurama's waistband and lifts him off the ground, holding him in the air:: OATMEAL! NOW!!!  
  
Kurama: ::writhing in mid-air:: Ok ok. Dont get all primal! ::blows a bang out of his eyes::  
  
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At Kurama's house.  
  
Kurama finishes Yusuke's oatmeal and serves it in a bowl.   
  
Yusuke: Finally. ::grinning::  
  
Kurama is about to give it to him, until Hiei comes in the door.  
  
Hiei: What are you doing kitsune?  
  
Kurama: Im giving Yusuke-kun some oatmeal. What else does it look like?  
  
Hiei: ::smoke coming from his ears:: I thought you only made ME food!   
  
Kurama: Well, you said I wasn't cute! When everyone knows I am the most cutest kitsune in the world!  
  
Yusuke: can I have my food now?  
  
Kurama ignores him and rants with the bowl in his hand.  
  
Kurama: You have like, no respect for me! I could have anyone I want. But NO Im with you! You should feel lucky...  
  
Hiei: Give me the oatmeal.  
  
Kurama: no.  
  
Hiei: Give it to me!  
  
Kurama: Its Yusuke's! ::is about to give it to Yusuke::  
  
Hiei: Dammit kitsune! ::pounces on Kurama, sending the bowl soaring::  
  
Yusuke: ::slow motion voice:: Nooooooooo!   
  
The bowl flew in the air and fell all over Kurama.  
  
Kurama:...  
  
Hiei: Uh oh...  
  
Kurama: WAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! It burns!!!!!!!!  
  
Yusuke: MY OATMEAL!!! ::getting pissed::  
  
Hiei: Kurama, daijoubu ka? ::tries to help him, but gets a foot in the face::  
  
Kurama: My new blouse! Hiei how could you? Im all burnt and my blouse is totally ruined! Waaaah! ::kicking and throwing a tantrum::  
  
Yusuke: MY OATMEAL!!!! ::attacks Hiei::  
  
Kurama: Are you guys fighting over me? ::blushes::  
  
Hiei: Chya right! He just said: "MY OATMEAL" really really loud you egotistic youko!  
  
Kurama: You know you want it!  
  
Hiei: Wha...? The oatmeal or you?  
  
Kurama: Both! The oatmeal is all over me! Waaaaah!  
  
Yusuke: ::gets an idea::   
  
Yusuke stops chasing Hiei and walks over to Kurama. He starts eating the oatmeal off of Kurama.  
  
Kurama: Eew! Yusuke, get away!   
  
Hiei: ::turning redder than ever before:: YOU GODDAMN NINGEN GET YOUR MOUTH OFF OF KURAMA!!!!!  
  
Yusuke: ::finishes up after keeping Hiei at a distance with a hand on his head:: Scrumptious!  
  
Kurama: That is like so totally gross...  
  
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END 


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